So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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