I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize