glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
