people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
