Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So many bounce houses so little time
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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