you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize