i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
