no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I died a long time ago.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This house was built for laser tag.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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