I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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