I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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