heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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