You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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