just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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