Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
