i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
