hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
