Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
