he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
