This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
