I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize