She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
