a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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