He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
