Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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