It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
