okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize