Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
