So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
