3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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