just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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