I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
FUCK WHALES
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
