Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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