You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
