I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
