is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I love you. Go after that dick
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize