it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
