I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
