is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
