bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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