This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
