You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
