forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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