You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
