What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
