why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize