well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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