He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
