Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
