didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize