i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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