He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
