This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
