we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize