it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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