I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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