Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
