Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
