Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
