I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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