WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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