you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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