I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
