So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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