I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
