did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
