so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
