Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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