guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
