And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
