It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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