Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
