I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
