would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
