So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
