Your tits are I can't wait for
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
