Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
