you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
