week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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