if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
