Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
