Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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