I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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