Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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