Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
