shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
