if you like me you must not know who I am
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
