she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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